even though saving you sends me to heaven.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

i believe in my friends. i've faith in them and like, they've to let me down?

why do you have to be such a ass and judge me like that?
why do you have to assume?
you made an ass out of you and me. more out of yourself, because what do you know? what do you know to give you an excuse to freaking pass such a judgment on me?
tell me.

people say:
girls go for guys with looks and money.

yeah, whatever. that's what you think. not everyone's that shallow you know. not everyone sucks their boyfriends' and dates' money. not everyone's like that. not everyone's a free rider. not everyone leeches.

and do i look materialistic?
well, surprise surprise.
i'm not.

thanks for having so much faith in me.
thank you so much.

at 11:25 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

what are you doing?
give it up. he doesn't care.

just freaking wake up and move on.
do you want to be stuck forever? how long has it been?

you've got to stop hoping because you know what? it's not going to happen.
he doesn't give a damn. he has long moved on with his life and so should you. you know that.
and you know, life's too short to sit around getting stuck.

he changed. you changed too.
both of you are just strangers who knew each other.
it's past tense.

get a life, you.

at 8:12 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

i'm not close to either of them but i've talked to him before.. and all the his and byes. to think i talked to him some time back and like i teased him about his pink shirt. in fc3. and i yelled his name to call him.

i can't believe it okay. like, someone please tell me it's a joke.

i don't know what to think. my head's in a mess and like, i don't want to believe it. i don't know.

one wasn't given the chance to live. one threw it away.

rest in peace.

at 1:51 AM

Thursday, July 24, 2008

"forget the past.. stop thinking."

easier said than done.
about 4months to the end of the year.

at 3:10 AM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"Sacha may be the only one who came close in knowing me. Despite for the longest period of the time i have not seen you ( before Gstar, idk when!), the phone call during the wee hours on 15/6/08 does ring a bell to me (and hopefully to you as well)."

-ryann

well. this is very surprising. and nice, even though idk what i know.
:D:D

so. anyway andrea, bernard, yishu & i watched the notebook today. love that movie!

and then we went to cathay to catch the dark night.
it was freaking awesome. i really really really enjoyed the show. like omg, it's so twisted and dark okay. and the joker's damn creepy. sick in the head.. plus the psychotic laughter ._. "Why so serious?"
heath ledger's super good.
andrea rushed home and bernard rushed for his meeting after that. the movie was about 2.5hours? plus all the commercials and trailers.

christian bale is accused of assaulting his mum & sis?
the irony.

I WANT A BATMOBILE!
BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILE BATMOBILEEEEEEEEEEE.

we met haiyuan the himbo who was in the same theatre! fate huh.
:)

yishu sent me home and what the hell is an aluminium falcon?
:)

at 11:12 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

the TGIF feeling wasn't really there because there was health mapping on saturday. i HATE getting up early on weekends.. seriously. after a week of waking up at the same time, i really appreciate being able to sleep till late morning on weekends.

anyway i met up with yangping at imm on friday!
we waited for bernard till i fell asleep reading reader's digest. ummmm. talked for quite a bit. and i ate ljs! the forth time i ate fast food for the week. (like omg i'm so gnna die because fast food is carcinogenic. shittttt.)

bumped into gems friend brian, who happened to be yp's pri school mate.

then.........

:D hee.

it was embarrassing. kinda. and yp asked me to go back for second shot -.- omg.

***

hme!

thanks andrea & her dad for sending us to the location! :)

anyway. it turned out to be pretty okay! haha. got re-grouped to bernard's group and then to andrea's group. she left early for the ndp preview which didn't happen =.= so yeah. the juniors in our group are kazu, yong chian & kwi shan and i think they're all nice to work with. hehehe.

took 154 and slept all the way.
dinner at sunset way with the family. had thai food which was not bad. the place got renovated! it looked uncannily like HV now.. the ambience and everything. mm.

today.........

didn't go out due to unforeseen circumstances.

talked to yishu! :) and i bathed my dog :)

and tomorrow is monday, again.
:/

i am happier than i am yesterday.

at 8:27 PM

Friday, July 18, 2008

my one dollar and fifteen cent bottle.

at 12:26 AM

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

monday night was.. dreadful. and tiring. very, very tiring.
i'm so messed up and nas said i'm screwed up.
how true.

i need to end this whole my-life-is-messed-up thing. i don't want to run away. it doesn't solve anything, doesn't it.
the problem isn't as simple as it looks.
i don't know..

***

went out yesterday! no lessons. yay! :)
met up with andrea & bernard first! and bernard was late! mmm. talked for a bit before we went to queensway.
intended to get a bigger shoebag but there wasn't nice ones. and i didn't get my waterbottle.
yishu came! :) and after that we went to suntec to meet sihah & xueyan! then on the bus there's this girl who kept looking at him okay. one last look. hahahahhaha.
and everyone nagged at him to see a doc.

anyway we had popeye's at the sg flyer. walked for abit. xy left. then andrea & bernard left.
walked around topman!
and then sihah and i bought yishu his monster shirt! :):) that's like his bday present!
we made him try this hot pink shirt and he looked good in it but he doesn't want to buy it -.-

bumped into donglin
:):)

went home. talked and ranted.
got locked out. yay.

so much hypocrisy in the house.
sigh.

***

anyway.
nh students were at sp today! and like i saw mrs lim! :)
dance prac.
dinner? or part of dinner? then.. home.

***

friends, i love you guys!

***

di, i'm here for you. it's wednesday already! :)

at 8:39 PM

Monday, July 14, 2008

be strong.

i need all the strength i can get.
because the world's out to screw my life.

at 11:14 PM

Sunday, July 13, 2008

thanks to friends who talked to me :) you guys know who you are. if you didn't talk to me about this, hanging out with me provides a distraction from my thoughts, even if for a while.
thank you :)

***

you know how sometimes how the lyrics of a song seem to belong to you? like, you're in THAT situation right now.
well, i'm feeling a lot of this recently. it's not a good thing for my case. sigh.

***

spent time with my relatives for the past 2 days! and stayed over at the hotel :)
had fun. cheered up quite a bit obviously. and bin came to meet me despite his very busy schdeule! dinner on friday and my cousin, bin, brother and i had teppanyaki at wisma which was damn good.
:D
it was nice catching up :)
he got me tix for ndp preview but i can't go :/

shopped for quite a bit.. my relatives left earlier today.
i miss them already.

sigh.

at 9:47 PM

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

my tumbler cracked.
:'(
:'(
:'(

i'm so stressed out and confused right now. and noone can help me but myself.

i don't know what to do and i don't know what i can do. i don't know how to help myself. i don't know what's the right thing. i don't want to hurt anyone. i don't want to cause any more harm because i already did and it's enough. i don't want to take advantage of people's kindness to me. i don't know how to repay them. i can't promise anything back in return. i can't be on the receiving end all the time. it's unfair that way. i don't want to feel so much guilt.

i don't even know what i want. i don't even know how i feel. i don't know what i'm thinking.
i don't know what to do.

be careful of what you wish for. for all you know, you might just get it.

at 11:53 PM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

i just napped :)
for like, 3 hours? hahaha. and what's the best thing? noone realised i'm home. tells so much. i'm lazy to get dinner now though.

okay so i've been busy :/

anyway, we're learning rumba now! and last practice i was in a state of euphoria. i don't know why. i feel sorry for my partner because he has no choice but to put up with it. HA.
andrea gets high with me so it's okay! *ahemmmkennethahemahemm*

***

had health mapping exercise on saturday! was in the same group as jx :) it was o-kay but definitely draining. and yes, the situation is pretty bad for some of the people there.
THERE WERE COCKROACHES AS BIG AS MY THUMB.
AND THEY CRAWLED AROUND EVERYWHERE. IT'S SICK. THEY EVEN CLIMB TREES. VERY SICK, I TELL YOU.
DAMN DISGUSTING!!!!!!

i hope the birds eat all of them.

anyway, after that andrea and i went to this warehouse sale thing! there was nothing much but we ended up at a wholesaler for sweets, chocs and snacks.

i went mad. really.
we both went mad.

i bought: bobdog sweet (10 freaking boxes), dars dark choc, meiji dark choc, willy wonka gobstopper, these jap chewy sweet with jelly in it (DAMN GOOD!), hi chews, tic tacs, bitter lemon bonbons, magic dust, jap seaweed, marshmallow dips, wang wang man tou!

that's all i remember. alot right.
i spent 3o bucks. andrea spent 20. we really went crazy.

never let me loose in a shop like this! haha.
i ended up with a very fat plastic bag ._.

had dinner with eldon! then home. had really bad cramps :(

***

woke up in the morning feeling like crap. but i can't pangseh andrea, eldon & hongleong so yeah. met up at town. brought along my heavy lappy to do gembio.

caught 21!
it's good. the guy's cute. aahah. andrea agrees with me! and kate bosworth's really pretty! i think people like mok should just pick up counting cards.

starbucks after that! dark mocha frappe :D:D when i wasn't supposed to but heck.
we went to zara after that.

mmm.

***

gems on monday!
dongdong left his wallet at home so he asked me to lend him money. so i got down the bus at clementi. tapped my card already then he told me he found coins -.-

met andrea after that at nyongnyong! haha.
brazil mocha latte :)
we rushed the stupid report. jx & bernard joined us later. thank you people who helped with my report! :)
half the class skipped haematology (we did too. ) got back results for haematology. wasn't good but i passed. yeah. it's 10% so..

i went home half dead after submitting the reports.

mm.

last night was .. awful? idk.
didn't sleep well either even though we started school at 12. i woke up with no freaking clue that it's a tuesday. had no clue it's a school day.

today, was much better..
p.s. thanks andrea & eldon for the panadol! thankyou! :)

at 11:18 PM

Monday, July 7, 2008

i can breathe, finally.

will do proper update soon.
really tired.

friends! take care okay! :)

at 11:09 PM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

rollercoaster ride emotions.

i'm going to be cranky, snappy & highly irritable.
actually, i already am.
sorry guys.

at 12:57 AM